This Time Tomorrow.

I'll be in our new apartment, probably still unpacking and getting settled. Kryss will be at work and I'll be home alone. Part of that thought excites me and the other part is terrified; I've seen too many horror movies so I'll know what to expect. I'll probably end up checking under the bed and the shower curtain 20 times that night just incase someone else came in and wants to chop my body into a million unidentifiable pieces.
It's a little bittersweet for me right now, I've been back home for almost 6 months living in my old room again. So much has changed since I left and this room doesn't even feel like it did before I left. We've turned this one bedroom into our own little home and it's been so comfortable and felt like our own little place, it'll be sad to see it emptied and left alone. This probably seems ridiculous because we're moving into an actual apartment but it's been my place for so many years.
Less than a month ago we signed lease papers and every day leading up to it has felt like an eternity, until I woke up today. Instead of waking Kryss up with the usual "_ days left!", it was spent anxious and nervous because this secretly crept up on us. I've complained so many times that this day seemed like it would never get here, but now that we're less than 24 hours away, it seems like it flew by.
I'll miss..
I'm going to miss this room like hell. The white walls that brightened the room up, the bookshelf Kryss made that is holding all of our souvenirs and cameras.
I'm going to miss being able to wake up and walk downstairs to find my mother. We talk as I'm making a pot of coffee and I won't get that anymore.
I'm going to miss my dog, Alex. Since I came back home, he's been pretty attached to me and it's going to be so sad to leave him again. It's sad to admit, but he's like my best friend. He's always so happy to see me and follows Kryss and I around the house.
I'm going to miss my mother's home-cooked meals. I missed them so badly when I lived in Texas and it was wonderful coming back to them. Kryss makes a pretty good meal but food made by mother's is more special.
I'm going to miss my father's jokes at the most random times. He always has something to say and a comeback for everything.
I'll love..
Getting in the kitchen with Kryss. I am so anxious to make meals with him and sit down to eat.
Not having to tip-toe around the house. My father has difficulty sleeping so we've been extra quiet when we wake up in the middle of the night. It'll be nice to not have to worry about waking him up.
Not having to watch my language. My father hates vulgar language.. but it's a large part of my vocabulary. Sad to admit but it'll be nice to not have to think before I speak all the time. Hah.
More photo opportunities. Sort of an odd excitement but I don't take pictures of myself or others in my parent's house. I'm trying to get into self-portraiture but I can't really do it unless it's in my room. I'm really self-conscious about that kind of thing and it's so lame to admit but it'll be nice not having to be careful when trying to take a picture.

Dreaming Of Our Future Place.

Now that the search for a place to live is over and the paperwork is all complete, I've been spending the past few days dreaming of our future home and how it'll look. I've always dreamed of having a place of my own, decorating it how I saw fit and making it the most comfortable space for me. Now that it's a reality, the possibilities are endless and it's exciting and filled with anxiety. I can't wait to fill our little space with treasures and artwork of our own, but I can already tell I'm going to be a complete mess about it. I know once I finish one project, I'll want to improve it further and try to find some way to make it better. I'll never be satisfied and that's scaring me.
We've got less than a month to move in and we've got a lot of work ahead of us. I didn't think it through all the way but at work I was running through a list in my head of all the things we'll need; big and small. It didn't come to me and it's because I've never had to think about these things but there's so much we need to buy.
Plates, forks, Windex, strainer, paper towels, towels, etc. That's just the beginning. I mean, seriously.. there is just so much to remember when buying for your new apartment. When thinking about a place of my own, not once did it cross my mind, "man, I can't wait to buy that plunger!" - but it's something we'll need. The list almost seems endless. Take all those small items for the place and add bigger items on that list - like internet. We have to call the company and get the internet before we move in. Or after, it doesn't matter. I don't plan on being on the computer much for the first few days anyway, but how in the hell do people remember all of this stuff? I settled on making a list - which hasn't even started because I'm a hardcore procrastinator. That's my problem, I have all of these things I want to get done but I never write them out and I just think them out in my head and hope to God I remember later on.
I think my issue is I'm afraid I won't get them done in time or it'll completely overwhelm me once I see the list. This whole new venture in my life will slowly start to become a reality and it's scary in a way - we've always dreamed of these amazing adventures we're going to take in our adult years, but when it actually happens, it's a completely different perspective and the reality is so much bigger than we thought.
I've been obsessing over Pinterest and Tumblr for some inspiration and ideas for when we move in. There are some amazing ideas but also outlandish ones that I would never even think to do. Who knew there was a whole Tumblr dedicated to furniture made out of pallets? I want all of the pallets in the world now.
Here's some of my ideas and inspiration for our apartment, hopefully it'll strike something inside of you to go out and create something of your own for your home.

Like I said, a Tumblr for all things made with pallets.

I have been anxious over our couch situation. Maybe I'm just a cheapskate but I hate the idea of buying one piece of furniture for hundreds of dollars. Yes, it's for your home and for your comfort and you want quality but this looks both comfortable and so good. The best part is that it's made by you. Not many people can say they made their own furniture for their home, a couch nonetheless. source.

This is one of my favorite D.I.Y decors for your home. Four crates, some wood stain and you've got yourself a living room table. It also gives you space your knickknacks and little decorations. I am so excited to try this and I even went to Michaels to check out their selection for crates. source.

I'm not crazy about all of the holes in the wall that this would take, but it gives so much shelving space for your books and decorations. Maybe for a future home purchase but this definitely gives me a few ideas. source. 

How amazing is this?! I'm not sure the source for this but I would love  to see this being made. 

Elise is one of my favorite bloggers. She got me interested in Project Life and she's got some amazing tutorials. This is one that I'd love to try. 

Violet made a simple silhouette reading lamp but it gives so much life to a room. 

Now that I've looked back and found even more interesting D.I.Y's and apartments, it's making me so much more excited to finally be on my own and create a nice little place for Kryss and I. I suppose I'll get on making that list now, February 1st will be here before I know it. 

2014 Is Quickly Becoming My Favorite Year.

Remember this post? That time we went looking for an apartment and the lady was a complete asshole? Yeah, I didn't forget that. It stuck with me for awhile. It made me feel like we weren't doing as good as we were and that we wouldn't be able to move out of my parents house. It was a blow to the ego for the both of us.
Well, today Kryss and I went looking at a few more apartments. We were trying to be as positive as we could, but still felt that sting from the first place. We called a complex and they said they had one apartment with a one bedroom left so we came as soon as we ended the call. When we got there, they told us a couple just signed the papers to lease it. We left the apartments and sat in the car both extremely discouraged. We felt like things just weren't going right for us and I honestly wanted to just give up. I was so disgusted with being shut down again. We ended up going to Wegmans for a few items and picked up an Apartment Finder catalog and we sat in the car for over an hour and looked at possible places.
No utilities included? No thanks.
$35 fee per person just to view an apartment? You're nuts.
In the ghetto? Nope, just had our first homicide of the year and as desperate as we are for an apartment, I've got some standards left.
Kryss had one more place in mind that he had drove past a few times. I wanted to say no. I wanted to throw my hands up in the air and scream "fuck that." and crawl under my covers and sleep my anger away.
Thank the big guy upstairs I didn't do that.
We drove into the apartments and there was a sign that said "Welcome Home!" and instantly I thought "wouldn't it be hilarious if it ended up being our home!?" but quickly remembering there was no way we'd get a place. The cards weren't in our favor it seemed. We filled out a welcome form, waited for the woman to get back from lunch to show the model apartment and then came back to the office. We told her we really liked the apartment and were interested in applying.
"Application fees are waived this month."
Say whaaaat?!
We sat our happy asses down and applied.
She took our papers and filed them and then told us what we had for a security deposit and how much we'd be paying a month. Before we realized it, we were accepted.
So, Kryss and I will be moving into our own apartment on February 1st. We wanted to give ourselves a few weeks to sort things out and pack.
We also had to tell my parents who aren't too accepting of good news. As with my engagement, my mom just stated how much we'd hate it because dogs weren't allowed and it was only one bedroom. She picked anything and everything to lessen my excitement, but I'm not letting it get to me. 2014 is off to an amazing start and I couldn't be happier with the way things are going.
In the meantime, I'll be pinning my ass off with ideas for our apartment.
I can't believe it's actually happening. I honestly don't think it's even hit me yet and it won't until we're laying in bed for the first night on our own.

Taking A Step Back For A Moment.

Sometimes, I have to take a step back and think for a moment.
Since I've been with Kryss, I've dreamt of having our own little apartment, spending our days off together decorating it and creating these small, fleeting moments of happiness to remember later on. Thinking of this makes me so happy and anxious for the future. Since moving to New York, we've been working harder than we ever have to make all of this come true. We're saving like crazy and trying to make the apartment a reality. We're making great progress but we're still not ready yet.
This past week has been hard for me. I've been thinking of the future too much and getting upset. Upset that it's not here yet and upset that I feel like we're still at the beginning. We've come so far, though. We may not have reached our goal yet, but we're making it slowly but surely. I've been letting this get me down and putting me in a negative funk and it's not healthy. It's not healthy to dwell on this negative feeling because it's being projected onto others. I can honestly say it's made me more quiet and reserved with Kryss. It's not his fault but I've been giving off this terrible vibe.
He's working so hard and I couldn't be more proud of him. He's showing just how much he wants this apartment to come as soon as possible. He's been working longer than scheduled and putting in so much effort and I hope he knows how much I appreciate it.
So, instead of letting myself get down because we're not moving just yet, I'm going to appreciate the now. I want to create all of these moments together, laughing together as we're having our morning coffee or helping each other make breakfast. I'm telling myself I can't do that just yet because we don't have our place. We can make those memories now, though. We can cook breakfast together and laugh at how ridiculous my pancakes look while his look perfect. We can sit at the dining room table and share a cup of coffee together, talking about the dreams we had the previous night or how I hogged all of the covers again. We don't need an apartment for that. Sure, they'll be more special because it was done in our home, but that will happen in due time.
I'm not going to let my wants for the future get me down because they will happen. It'll take time and effort but if I really want it, then it'll happen. I just need to appreciate what's going on now, because they're going to be memories one day. We can enjoy our time together now spending it with my parents, because we both love them to death and some day, I'm going to look back and wish I had just one more day to live in this home with them.