Taking A Step Back For A Moment.

Sometimes, I have to take a step back and think for a moment.
Since I've been with Kryss, I've dreamt of having our own little apartment, spending our days off together decorating it and creating these small, fleeting moments of happiness to remember later on. Thinking of this makes me so happy and anxious for the future. Since moving to New York, we've been working harder than we ever have to make all of this come true. We're saving like crazy and trying to make the apartment a reality. We're making great progress but we're still not ready yet.
This past week has been hard for me. I've been thinking of the future too much and getting upset. Upset that it's not here yet and upset that I feel like we're still at the beginning. We've come so far, though. We may not have reached our goal yet, but we're making it slowly but surely. I've been letting this get me down and putting me in a negative funk and it's not healthy. It's not healthy to dwell on this negative feeling because it's being projected onto others. I can honestly say it's made me more quiet and reserved with Kryss. It's not his fault but I've been giving off this terrible vibe.
He's working so hard and I couldn't be more proud of him. He's showing just how much he wants this apartment to come as soon as possible. He's been working longer than scheduled and putting in so much effort and I hope he knows how much I appreciate it.
So, instead of letting myself get down because we're not moving just yet, I'm going to appreciate the now. I want to create all of these moments together, laughing together as we're having our morning coffee or helping each other make breakfast. I'm telling myself I can't do that just yet because we don't have our place. We can make those memories now, though. We can cook breakfast together and laugh at how ridiculous my pancakes look while his look perfect. We can sit at the dining room table and share a cup of coffee together, talking about the dreams we had the previous night or how I hogged all of the covers again. We don't need an apartment for that. Sure, they'll be more special because it was done in our home, but that will happen in due time.
I'm not going to let my wants for the future get me down because they will happen. It'll take time and effort but if I really want it, then it'll happen. I just need to appreciate what's going on now, because they're going to be memories one day. We can enjoy our time together now spending it with my parents, because we both love them to death and some day, I'm going to look back and wish I had just one more day to live in this home with them.