And my collection grows.

So, you see that beauty right there in that photo? That's the Ansco 1048 ZF film camera. It's beautiful.. and now mine.
Kryss and I decided we'd check out a thrift shop since we've been in town and had some time to kill. Places around here never really seem to have many good things looming around the thrift stores. I've never really been lucky enough to find a camera, so I sort of gave up hope. I know with these places they're really hit or miss. Sometimes you find some great treasures while other times you're out of luck.
Anyway, we're looking around and I find the section with printers and other electronics. I found a Polaroid camera I was going to pick up, but it was terribly broken. I opted not to. I found this Ansco sitting behind a printer and really loved it. It was in great condition, just need a little love. I was lucky enough to find it for $2.99, though I don't think it's worth much more.
As I was checking out this camera, Kryss wandered off a few feet and when I looked at him, he had something around his neck. He was cheesing so hard and my jaw dropped. I've never had luck at these stores and I scored two great finds in one hit.
Take a look:


So, most people are just going to think I'm crazy which is totally cool. I understand. Once I saw this hanging around his neck, I fell in love and it wasn't even in my hands yet. I examined this little Canon G-III QL and knew it had to be mine. The raddest part was it was only $2.99. I looked online and saw it on Amazon for $100+. I don't plan on selling any of my cameras, but it's nice to know I scored this camera for such a small price. I can't wait to try it out. I'm slowly researching more technical aspects of photography and can't wait to full use manual. I also can't wait to use my other 35mm cameras instead of my Pentax. As much as I love it, I wan't to be able to use a manual camera.
I am now a full-blown thrift store addict and want to go every day. I told Kryss we have to check them out more so I can hoard some more beautiful little cameras.

Caffenol. It actually works.

Remember last week when I talked about ordering the proper items to develop my own film? Well, they were all here Friday and I was so ready to take the next step and develop my own black & white film. I spent countless nights thinking about the possibilities with this new hobby. I could take as many photographs as I wanted, I left 20+ rolls of expired black & white film here when I left for El Paso and didn't have to worry about how expensive it would be. Actually, it would of definitely broke the bank because nowhere here develops black & white, they'd have to send it out and that would take a week.
What I didn't realize is that it would take much more work than I thought. In my head, I watched the same Youtube video countless times, so how couldn't I perfect the first try? I didn't want to get my hopes up, but I did. I didn't realize how difficult it actually would be. Developing your own film is a very sensitive process and it has to be perfected, especially if you're using different types of film.
My first roll was a total disaster. It came out clear and clearly wasn't done right.
The second attempt was from a color roll and it was somewhat developed, but definitely was another failed attempt.
Roll three was another black and white, clear again. (by this time, I'm so upset and angry that I couldn't get it right. I wanted to give up. When it comes down to doing something and I fail, I feel like I let others down and it gets me so down. I want to just give up and forget I ever thought about doing it. I didn't want to do that, though. This whole project is taking a completely new meaning to me and it's making Photography so much more of a passion.)
The fourth, again.. another color roll was a fail. Total and utter fail.
I felt defeated. I cleaned everything up, laid in bed and couldn't stop thinking about what I did wrong. Was it really this difficult? Why couldn't I just get it right? I hated the fact that I was letting something so ridiculous get me down. I hate failing but don't we all?
So, I spend a few hours today looking through online blogs and forums regarding developing your own film. I found a website that gave me so much insight and there was a different formula to follow, so I gave it a shot. I definitely didn't get my hopes up and I just went through the steps hoping something would end up different so I had some idea of what I could improve on.
After I followed the steps and took the reel out of the tank, I saw the film and it looked like all of the other rolls I tried, just a grey negative. As I started taking it out of the reel, I saw some negatives come out. I remember I started yelling "Wait, what? Wait, look!" to myself. (Yeah, to myself.. no big deal.)
I quickly ran in my room and hung the negative up to dry, constantly looking back at it to see how much clearer it became.
So, I took a few negatives and ran them through the scanner. Six or so came out, but they were inverted when they were scanned so I had to invert them back. The other issue, is the rest of the roll doesn't scan for some reason. I'm not sure why, because the six I scanned did fine. It doesn't scan them on the SD card and that's one thing I'm struggling to fix. Another is, although I'm proud of finally getting the developer to work, I have to leave it in longer, hopefully to develop better. I have to learn a few tweaks to the formula to perfect it. Some of the scans were diptych, too. That's something I need to fix. I do love the mistakes that were processed, though.
So, I'm proud of myself. Although it's not perfect and I'm still running into little hiccups along the road, I actually developed my own roll of film. I can't wait to try it again until I can finally perfect it and develop my own film without having to worry about it coming out.
Now, these images aren't perfect. They covered in flaws but I adore them. I love the diptych that happened by mistake. I love the blurs of light and the grain with them. It's what I love about film photography. These flaws are what make the pictures in my opinion.
Here are a few more scans from the developed roll!





probably my favorite picture that came out. 

What This Hobby Means To Me.

With blogging on the rise and anyone and everyone being able to get their hands on a nice camera these days, photography seems to have really lost it's meaning. When it comes down to it, everyone is calling themselves a photographer these days, whether they're good or bad. Though, there's not really a "bad" photographer in my opinion. It all comes down to perspective and how you feel about your own work. Unless you tend to over-Photoshop your images, then I have a bit of an issue.
I've come across hundreds of blogs, mostly on Tumblr and on Bloglovin' where people automatically put "Photographer" in their bio. This really irks me. I know, call yourself whatever you want but with the ease of getting the right tools and equipment these days, anyone can do it. Anyone can turn a camera on, focus and shoot.
These days, film is slowly making it's way back into people's hobbies. People are finally appreciating film photography and getting it developed and re-loading their cameras. Places like Urban Outfitters have Polaroid cameras for sale (at ridiculous prices I will add!) It even saddens me a bit. On one hand, I'm ecstatic you can find film and cameras easier then years prior. I'm glad that I can find film for my cameras and have it delivered right to my doorstep. I'm glad I don't have to worry about getting more film for when I run out.
On the other, photography is really losing it's meaning. At least in my opinion. Sure, people carry their digital cameras around at birthdays and events so they can capture the moments, some even print them and keep them for memories. A lot of people Photoshop them and slap them on their blogs. That's great.
When it comes down to it, a lot of people do it for the business aspect and to hopefully make some money off of it. It's clearly shown on Tumblr blogs. I hate using this word because I don't really care to put a label on people, but it's such a hipster thing to do. Ugh, I hate that word. Kids these days go to coffee shops and take photographs of their coffees and call themselves Photographers. No.
I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I'm the first person to truly love photography because I'm not. There were many before me. The thing I will say is I've loved it since middle school. I remember coming home from school and sitting on my computer for hours browsing blogs and websites that featured artists. I'd fall in love with pictures of places I've never been to before and my jaw would drop at the beauty these people were able to capture. I mean, some people are just crazy talented. It made me ache with jealousy. I would break out my fathers ancient digital camera thinking I could possibly capture these same results - no.
I found a few weeks prior and just shook my head at how ridiculous I was. In my head, if I angled the camera and captured it, it would be pure genius. I'd listen to music (a lot of depressing rock music) and try to capture those kinds of moods. It was absolutely embarrassing.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I even took a photography class in high school. A very poorly run class at that. I wanted so badly to take a camera out and developed tons of film and learn as much as I could. I wanted to soak up every word in the book and learn the settings of the cameras so I could be like those photographers I had seen on those blogs. When the class was over, I was upset. I wasn't learning much and the teacher slacked - so the class did, too.
I was disgusted and gave up. I wanted to put anything photo-related away and just forget about it, but I couldn't. It had taken over me. About a year later, I picked the camera back up - digital that is. I would take photographs of my nieces and Photoshop as little as I could. My family would praise me and tell me how great of a job I did with taking the pictures. It gave me such a rush. It made me proud and I felt like I was making those around me proud. It made me want to do even more and improve on my work.
Though I love Photoshop - I hate it, too. I love that I can improve an image to help it, but I also love the original - the exact image you saw. I'm not a big fan of manipulating my photographs even though I still do it - thus why I am so in love with film photography.
Two years ago, my father gave (maybe let me borrow but I quickly took ownership of it) me his old Pentax k1000. It was my very first film camera and I can't even tell you how amazing it felt. It was foreign to me and so beautiful. The camera is heavy and a tough piece of equipment - I'd swear you could harm someone with it - seriously. Anyway, it gave me this new sense of passions for Photography. I wanted to learn film even though I hadn't completely learned digital. Honestly, I wanted to say screw you to digital and just worry about film. Although I'd take film over digital any day - the ease and quickness of digital is pretty great.
Now, it took me months to actually try film. I dreamed about it and didn't think it would be difficult. I was wrong. I'm so glad I was given this Pentax, there is a light meter that basically hands you the settings and tells you when you're going to get a perfect image. I've gotten a few rolls developed and they didn't turn out - discouraging but it didn't make me stop. I kept at it - one roll after another until I finally did it right.
I finally got my first roll of film developed and they all came out. They weren't good. They were basically taken all around my house just so I could see how they turned out. In my head, the camera may have been broken. Although they weren't good, I fell in love. I loved the most boring pictures I took on that roll; the one of my sisters dogs sleeping on the floor. There was grain and light leaks and it was beautiful. One of my favorite things about film is the light leaks. They're unexpected and add so much character to the photograph. It's honestly the most beautiful "accident" of film photography. I've taken some pretty terrible photographs - ones that were blurry, but because of that light leak it gave it a whole new meaning.
I don't plan to become some famous photographer. Hell, I don't even call myself a photographer - I prefer Photography Enthusiast. If work gets published, great.. if not.. great. I'm not looking to make a living off of it because I don't feel like I'll ever be as good enough to.
Photography is a passionate hobby. It's something I truly love doing - especially when I get to crawl in abandoned houses and do my thing. Some of the adventures I've taken just to use my camera is reason enough to keep doing what I'm doing. I love taking pictures whether they're good or bad and keeping them on my computer. I love when months or even years go by and I open my folders on my desktop and see pictures I had forgotten I took. I love looking at them and remembering the reason I took them or the adventures I went through just to get them.
Photography to me tells a story. Sure, everyone says that, but it does. I love when someone looks at my work and asks about it - I can reminisce about that day and give them insight. I'm able to take myself back to that day and remember everything that happened - the places I saw, the cool adventures I took and even for some, the abandoned places I got to crawl into.
Even when I took the pictures of my nieces, I was able to cement their youth in those pictures. They're going to grow up and become an entirely different person. They're going to develop new interests and attitudes and become this completely separate person from how they were as children. They can look back when they're my age and see what they looked like and how I captured their beauty.
Sometimes I look through my families photo albums. I see pictures from family trips we took with my grandparents and I immediately think about those times - for instance one Halloween when I dressed up as Wishbone. The kids got together and took a picture with my Grandma - every time I see that photograph I want to instantly go back to that time and take that picture again. It was such a happy time and it fills me with so much happiness (and even sadness - I miss her like crazy.)
If you actually read this whole rant - I appreciate it more than you know. When people say "blog about your passions - it'll show" I believe it now.
Thank you for reading this. I can't wait to share more photographs and memories with you.

My New Project.

For years I've been interested in developing my own film photographs. I remember taking a photography class in high school and it was the worst class I had taken. I developed film one time in that whole semester and I didn't learn a thing. The teacher didn't have any interest in actually teaching, so we copied notes out of the book. No lessons or going over the material. He then let us borrow the cameras and go around the school taking pictures. We got to use the darkroom, but of course it was timed and we had to be quick about it. There wasn't much learning going on and it was a very disappointing experience. 

Since then, I haven't stepped foot in a darkroom or even tried to develop my own film. I didn't think it was even possible because of the chemicals needed. I figured I would just learn film photography and send my films off to a local drug store to be developed. At around $10 for a single roll of film to be developed, I realized I'd be losing a ton of money if this was something I was going to be passionate about. I remember stumbling across a blog about developing your own film with coffee crystals and vitamin c. What? Seriously? I didn't think it was actually possible to use basic household ingredients to develop your own film. Of course it's going to be only black and white, but that's my personal favorite style (but, whose isn't these days?)

Also, you need other items to actually develop these rolls of film, but it's really inexpensive and when it comes down to it, you'll save a ton of money doing it yourself rather than sending the rolls out to be developed. 

I am beyond ecstatic to be developing my own film. I think I'll have more of an appreciation for my work and it'll make me take my time taking photographs and really pay attention to the small details of my work from now on. The process of developing it will be a lot of fun and the finished products will hold an even deeper meaning to me because I did everything myself. 

So, I took the plunge today and I'm not going to look back. I've been spending the past week exploring my options and deciding which route to take. I've been obsessively checking Craigslist, hoping I can find a film scanner but the results came back with no luck. 

So, Amazon was my next option. I didn't want to spend a ton of money on a negative scanner, I've seen them at Best Buy for around $150 and I think that's a bit ridiculous. Maybe I'm just super cheap. 

I found a Kodak scanner on Amazon (picture shown above) for $25. There was one left so I quickly put it in my cart along with the fixer (shown above, too) and cashed out. The best part is that I can reuse the fixer, so the 500mL bottle will last me awhile.

The hardest part of this search was finding a tank and reel. For some reason when you look them up on Amazon, a lot of people sell only tanks or only reels, so it's going to be a bit pricey if you buy them separately (seriously.. shipping cost me around $30 itself.. lame.) I even checked Etsy and found a few I was interested in but saw they were coming from other countries so I quickly opted out of that route. 

I finally found one on eBay (picture shown above) and bought it. I'm really sketched out by eBay and have never made a purchase from there, but my parents used to all the time. I'm not a huge believer in the honesty of eBay and I feel like a lot of people might sell their items on there that are broken. My parents have had a few issues years ago with eBay and people selling them faulty items, so I wasn't crazy about the idea. I saw the seller had really positive ratings so we'll see how it goes when it gets shipped to me. 

All that's left is to wait for these items to be at my door (which I will be checking obsessively every day!) and then buy the remaining items at a local grocery store. 

I am so ready to be tackling this new project, one that I think will have such a special meaning to me and one that I can't wait to share with you all. I love the idea of taking your own pictures and then taking the next step and actually developing them yourself, it makes the work all that more powerful. 

I have over 20 rolls of film that I have to use up. That's over 800 images I could possibly develop. 

I am going to be rollin' in the JPEG images, yo. 

Forgotten pictures.

Since I've been back home, I've looked through my drawers and found old keepsakes and projects I worked on before I left. I love going back and finding little things I've forgotten about. Little notes and keepsakes from my Grandfathers home, my book of Pokemon cards he organized for me and even CD's filled with photographs I completely forgot I had taken.
I found a CD that wasn't labeled, so I curiously put it into my laptop. I was shocked to find square format pictures, the ones I had developed from my Diana Mini. It was my first time using this camera and I was beyond nervous to see the finished product. A lot of the pictures were too blurry to even save, but I have a few that I am pretty happy with. They're not as focused as I'd like, but I guess it makes it open for me to learn the camera better.
I'm diving into film photography so much more this year and I couldn't be happier. Whether it's my Pentax k1000 or my Diana Mini, I'm becoming a better "photographer". I love sifting through the photos and remembering the places I've been to and how new I was to this whole film thing. I can already notice an improvement, mainly with my Pentax skills. That needle is everything to me right now; it's so helpful.
Anyway, here are some more photographs from the Diana Mini roll I had developed. I can't wait to use the camera again and hopefully try the diptych technique!

I remember these pictures were taken in Killeen, Texas. I traveled there with my sister to help her move to El Paso, Texas when her husband got back from deployment. It was the first time I traveled and took a plane. It was a pretty good summer.

more pictures can be seen on my Flickr account here!

Our trip to Ruidoso and Cloudcroft on film.

A few weeks back, Kryss and I decided we'd take a little weekend trip to New Mexico, which is only a few hours away from El Paso. We packed our things and included a tent and hit the road Saturday morning. It was the first time we'd taken a trip together and I wanted to make it special. He knew my obsession with photography and was excited for me to take some pictures. We came across a barn and he immediately stopped and watched me do my thing. He was even interested in the decaying building. Much to my surprise, he helped me crawl inside to take some pictures, I figured he'd take a parental role and remind me of bugs and contracting some terrible infection if I were to step on something.
I brought my Canon Rebel and my Pentax k1000, not thinking too much into it because I wasn't confident in the outcome of the pictures, I'm still a newbie when it comes to film. I took them in last week to get developed and got them back today. I'm actually pretty happy with the outcome. I love looking through the pile and reminiscing on the trip.

More photographs can be seen on my Flickr if you're interested!

On our way back, we took a different route, best decision ever. We ended up driving through a town, Orogrande on the way back and we decided to stop. I was excited, but I was over the top ecstatic once we started walking through this town. It became a popular town in 1905 when they found a gold nugget in the area. They quickly built homes for people to stay at while they were looking for more gold. Nothing ever came of it, so the town just slowly rotted. I did some research and apparently two months ago a 17-year old was killed at a party. It blows my mind from what we saw, there was no life left there and it was pretty much the scene from a horror movie. It reminded me so much of some crazy Rob Zombie movie. We found an abandoned Motel that had it's doors open, so we walked into each room and explored.

Stupid me forgot to reload my camera once it ran out of film, so there aren't any film photographs, but I have a ton from my digital camera I'll have to share sometime. It was such an amazing adventure. I can't wait to do more exploring. I found a spoon on the ground, so I took it as a souvenir. Every time I go somewhere now, I find myself searching for some kind of item to take as a little keepsake from my adventure.

My first roll of film.

I'm taking a break from posting my Scintilla Project today. I've been only blogging about that project since it started so I figured I'd switch it up a bit today. I've been pretty excited to talk about my first successful roll of film I got developed. If you've followed my old blogs, you'll remember me wanting to get into film photography. For years I've admired those that could properly use film cameras and develop these amazing photographs. I've been all talk and no show and I've finally done it!
Last week, I finally got enough courage to take yet another roll of film and test it out and see what would happen. I've tried this before, multiple times only to see bad results. Either the film turned out completely blank or the sprocket holes were damaged and they couldn't run it through the machine. I became so discouraged I didn't think I would ever successfully get a roll to develop. I am so new to film and to the settings I wasn't sure I was doing it right. Thankfully, my Pentax k1000 has a needle on the side of the viewfinder that tells me the correct settings. It made it so much easier and helpful for someone just getting into film like myself.
Nervously and awkwardly, I went into Walgreens and asked to get the roll developed and put on a CD. It's expensive as hell and I thought one or two photographs would come out. When I went back a half hour later, he handed me the CD and I could of thrown up. I was so excited to get home and see what was on it.
I was through the roof excited when I saw what was on it. I remember smiling and just being so happy I was able to finally put the camera to use and I didn't waste another roll of film. They're not the best photos, but I love them, especially for my first roll I did. Now that I know they CAN be developed and the camera is in working condition, I can bring it on vacation!

I especially love the last one with the light leak. ;)

I'm slowly sticking to my goal for 2013.

One of my top goals for 2013 was to get into film photography. I've been fascinated by photography since middle school but never thought I'd be as good as those I saw on Flickr. I finally sat down and really thought about photography and my own feelings towards being like those I was so inspired by. I realized, why compare myself to others? Why strive to be like those people you see whose photographs are in magazines or have thousands of notes on Tumblr? Why do I want to be like them? I mean, sure.. I'd love to get my pictures out there and have thousands see it and love it, but then I would just fall into place with them. I wouldn't be my genuine self if I didn't strive to just love my own photographs. I finally realized "who cares if people like them or not? Who cares if someone sees my pictures and doesn't like them?" I want to like my pictures and if I'm the only person, I'll feel satisfied and accomplished.
For so long, I wanted to take photos like Alex Evans, a famous photographer from Deviantart. I wanted to captivate the emotions he did in his photographs. The thing is, it wasn't me. Though, I'd love to take beautiful pictures like he does, I just want to have memories to look back on, I want to be able to say "Wow, I remember these pictures. It was a great time and I have so many amazing memories from this trip." In all honesty, I just want to take pictures I'm satisfied with. I'm my own worst critic most of the time. I compared my photos to others on the internet and told myself I'd never be as good as them. Any time I posted pictures of my previous blogs, I pointed out their flaws. I was trying to be something I wasn't. I don't want to over-edit my photographs. I want them to be straight from the camera. That's the reason why I love film photographs so much. They're not edited, they're real. They came straight from the camera themselves, no touching up needed to make that picture perfect.
Well, I did a test roll last week and finally decided I'd bring it to a photo center to develop (though, I would kill to be able to develop my own pictures.. seriously. I would feel so accomplished and it would become such a personal process.) I went back into the center, eager and nervous. I'd tried this before only to be told the pictures didn't come out. The negatives were all black and not a single picture was processed. I was so defeated that I didn't want to try again. Lately, I've become obsessed again and said screw it.
My old Pentax I got from my father had a needle on the side that would tell you when the photo had perfect lighting and settings, something I didn't know until someone e-mailed me to tell me. I had a "DUH!" moment and bought batteries so the needle would work.
When I went into that photo center, the man had an odd look on his face, so I automatically thought "Damn, it was ruined again! What am I doing wrong?" I tried looking up tutorials and videos on film to try to study the camera and figure out how to do this the right way. He told me he processed them and when he put them in the machine to put it on a CD, the holes for the machine to catch on to was torn. When I held the negatives up, they were all perfect. I could clearly see the pictures I took. I was so relieved. He gave me the negatives and I didn't have to pay, the only thing is I need to figure out how it had gotten torn in the camera.
I came home so happy and felt so accomplished, which sounds weird because I didn't get the pictures processed 100%. I keep looking at the roll and smiling when I see these pictures. I am so happy I finally figured out how to take the pictures.
I've been looking up film scanners and am debating on buying on, the only issue is I would only have this roll to use it on. When I take another roll to the photo center again, if the pictures come out, I won't have to use the scanner. I would love to find a place that might only process them in the liquids to develop the negatives, so then I can just run them through the scanner. I doubt I'll find a place, though. I'm going to try another roll and hopefully they'll come out this time. I am trying to get this situation figured out all the way so when I visit my family in North Carolina, I can bring my camera and a bunch of film to take pictures. I didn't want to chance it and bring it anyway, just in case I couldn't get the camera to work. I would of been devastated if I did it and none of the rolls came out.
My goal is to get a grasp on film photography. As long as I can take the pictures and get them processed, I'll be happy. If I can do that, then my next step is to find a way to develop it myself and then scan them in. I want to slowly master film photography and ultimately be able to process the rolls myself without bringing them into a store. I mean, how badass is it to be able to take your own pictures AND develop them. To me, it's so personal and holds so much more meaning than using digital, where you can see the pictures, delete them and perfect the pictures in Photoshop. Though I respect anyone that uses digital as well.