What This Hobby Means To Me.

With blogging on the rise and anyone and everyone being able to get their hands on a nice camera these days, photography seems to have really lost it's meaning. When it comes down to it, everyone is calling themselves a photographer these days, whether they're good or bad. Though, there's not really a "bad" photographer in my opinion. It all comes down to perspective and how you feel about your own work. Unless you tend to over-Photoshop your images, then I have a bit of an issue.
I've come across hundreds of blogs, mostly on Tumblr and on Bloglovin' where people automatically put "Photographer" in their bio. This really irks me. I know, call yourself whatever you want but with the ease of getting the right tools and equipment these days, anyone can do it. Anyone can turn a camera on, focus and shoot.
These days, film is slowly making it's way back into people's hobbies. People are finally appreciating film photography and getting it developed and re-loading their cameras. Places like Urban Outfitters have Polaroid cameras for sale (at ridiculous prices I will add!) It even saddens me a bit. On one hand, I'm ecstatic you can find film and cameras easier then years prior. I'm glad that I can find film for my cameras and have it delivered right to my doorstep. I'm glad I don't have to worry about getting more film for when I run out.
On the other, photography is really losing it's meaning. At least in my opinion. Sure, people carry their digital cameras around at birthdays and events so they can capture the moments, some even print them and keep them for memories. A lot of people Photoshop them and slap them on their blogs. That's great.
When it comes down to it, a lot of people do it for the business aspect and to hopefully make some money off of it. It's clearly shown on Tumblr blogs. I hate using this word because I don't really care to put a label on people, but it's such a hipster thing to do. Ugh, I hate that word. Kids these days go to coffee shops and take photographs of their coffees and call themselves Photographers. No.
I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I'm the first person to truly love photography because I'm not. There were many before me. The thing I will say is I've loved it since middle school. I remember coming home from school and sitting on my computer for hours browsing blogs and websites that featured artists. I'd fall in love with pictures of places I've never been to before and my jaw would drop at the beauty these people were able to capture. I mean, some people are just crazy talented. It made me ache with jealousy. I would break out my fathers ancient digital camera thinking I could possibly capture these same results - no.
I found a few weeks prior and just shook my head at how ridiculous I was. In my head, if I angled the camera and captured it, it would be pure genius. I'd listen to music (a lot of depressing rock music) and try to capture those kinds of moods. It was absolutely embarrassing.
As I mentioned in my previous post, I even took a photography class in high school. A very poorly run class at that. I wanted so badly to take a camera out and developed tons of film and learn as much as I could. I wanted to soak up every word in the book and learn the settings of the cameras so I could be like those photographers I had seen on those blogs. When the class was over, I was upset. I wasn't learning much and the teacher slacked - so the class did, too.
I was disgusted and gave up. I wanted to put anything photo-related away and just forget about it, but I couldn't. It had taken over me. About a year later, I picked the camera back up - digital that is. I would take photographs of my nieces and Photoshop as little as I could. My family would praise me and tell me how great of a job I did with taking the pictures. It gave me such a rush. It made me proud and I felt like I was making those around me proud. It made me want to do even more and improve on my work.
Though I love Photoshop - I hate it, too. I love that I can improve an image to help it, but I also love the original - the exact image you saw. I'm not a big fan of manipulating my photographs even though I still do it - thus why I am so in love with film photography.
Two years ago, my father gave (maybe let me borrow but I quickly took ownership of it) me his old Pentax k1000. It was my very first film camera and I can't even tell you how amazing it felt. It was foreign to me and so beautiful. The camera is heavy and a tough piece of equipment - I'd swear you could harm someone with it - seriously. Anyway, it gave me this new sense of passions for Photography. I wanted to learn film even though I hadn't completely learned digital. Honestly, I wanted to say screw you to digital and just worry about film. Although I'd take film over digital any day - the ease and quickness of digital is pretty great.
Now, it took me months to actually try film. I dreamed about it and didn't think it would be difficult. I was wrong. I'm so glad I was given this Pentax, there is a light meter that basically hands you the settings and tells you when you're going to get a perfect image. I've gotten a few rolls developed and they didn't turn out - discouraging but it didn't make me stop. I kept at it - one roll after another until I finally did it right.
I finally got my first roll of film developed and they all came out. They weren't good. They were basically taken all around my house just so I could see how they turned out. In my head, the camera may have been broken. Although they weren't good, I fell in love. I loved the most boring pictures I took on that roll; the one of my sisters dogs sleeping on the floor. There was grain and light leaks and it was beautiful. One of my favorite things about film is the light leaks. They're unexpected and add so much character to the photograph. It's honestly the most beautiful "accident" of film photography. I've taken some pretty terrible photographs - ones that were blurry, but because of that light leak it gave it a whole new meaning.
I don't plan to become some famous photographer. Hell, I don't even call myself a photographer - I prefer Photography Enthusiast. If work gets published, great.. if not.. great. I'm not looking to make a living off of it because I don't feel like I'll ever be as good enough to.
Photography is a passionate hobby. It's something I truly love doing - especially when I get to crawl in abandoned houses and do my thing. Some of the adventures I've taken just to use my camera is reason enough to keep doing what I'm doing. I love taking pictures whether they're good or bad and keeping them on my computer. I love when months or even years go by and I open my folders on my desktop and see pictures I had forgotten I took. I love looking at them and remembering the reason I took them or the adventures I went through just to get them.
Photography to me tells a story. Sure, everyone says that, but it does. I love when someone looks at my work and asks about it - I can reminisce about that day and give them insight. I'm able to take myself back to that day and remember everything that happened - the places I saw, the cool adventures I took and even for some, the abandoned places I got to crawl into.
Even when I took the pictures of my nieces, I was able to cement their youth in those pictures. They're going to grow up and become an entirely different person. They're going to develop new interests and attitudes and become this completely separate person from how they were as children. They can look back when they're my age and see what they looked like and how I captured their beauty.
Sometimes I look through my families photo albums. I see pictures from family trips we took with my grandparents and I immediately think about those times - for instance one Halloween when I dressed up as Wishbone. The kids got together and took a picture with my Grandma - every time I see that photograph I want to instantly go back to that time and take that picture again. It was such a happy time and it fills me with so much happiness (and even sadness - I miss her like crazy.)
If you actually read this whole rant - I appreciate it more than you know. When people say "blog about your passions - it'll show" I believe it now.
Thank you for reading this. I can't wait to share more photographs and memories with you.