As most of you know, my all-time favorite book is The Perks of Being A Wallflower. I remember reading it in high school, a friend was reading it for a book report she was doing and I picked it up and then proceeded to steal it from her when she was done with it. I remember laying in bed that night reading it, laughing and crying at some of my favorite parts. I know a lot of people have said this, especially lately because of how popular the book and movie have gotten, but while reading it, I felt like I was Charlie. I related to so much of what he said and how he felt. He runs on emotions and he lets them take him over sometimes. My emotions make me who I am today, good or bad. When I feel a certain emotion, it's all I feel.The story behind my Perks tattoo.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
As most of you know, my all-time favorite book is The Perks of Being A Wallflower. I remember reading it in high school, a friend was reading it for a book report she was doing and I picked it up and then proceeded to steal it from her when she was done with it. I remember laying in bed that night reading it, laughing and crying at some of my favorite parts. I know a lot of people have said this, especially lately because of how popular the book and movie have gotten, but while reading it, I felt like I was Charlie. I related to so much of what he said and how he felt. He runs on emotions and he lets them take him over sometimes. My emotions make me who I am today, good or bad. When I feel a certain emotion, it's all I feel.Ever since I read the book, I knew I wanted to permanently mark something from this book on my body. I knew I wanted to share some of my favorite quotes from it and make it last. My absolute favorite quote from the book is the following:
“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.”
This quote sums up my entire life perfectly. It's something I try to remember when things have me feeling down. Even when I'm feeling on top of the world. Our lives are mixed with happy moments and sad moments, sometimes when we're feeling down, we need to remember that we also have moments of happiness to balance it out. I have been through a lot in my life, moments when I've been sad and lost, not knowing what to do next. I've felt like throwing in the towel and completely giving up. I have to remind myself that although I'm going through a bad time, I also have these fleeting moments of happiness that make it all worthwhile.
While I was in Myrtle Beach, SC a few weeks back, my sisters and I planned on getting matching sibling tattoos. We couldn't decide on something to get so we threw the idea away. We planned on going to the tattoo shop so my niece could get a piercing, so I had a spur of the moment idea. I knew I wanted a Perks tattoo and I wanted a special story to share while talking about my vacation. I'm not a fan of people getting tattoos on a whim and some vacation tattoos I've seen were even worse. It was spur of the moment and a hasty decision, but I know I won't regret it. I know when I look down at it years later, I'm going to smile and remember I got it while on vacation with my favorite people.
That week I spent with them was very memorable. I hadn't seen my sister or her family in years and I was feeling very happy. I hadn't been that happy in a very long time. I spent a lot of nights sitting outside, thinking about my life and the people I still have in it. I'm lucky to have those people with me. I'm lucky that they're always there for me when I need it. I remember last year when I was going through my breakdown, I was able to call my sisters and they were there for me, listening to me cry and talk about how hopeless I felt. They reminded me they loved me and would be there for me if I needed anything. They said some pretty serious things on the phone those days, things I won't forget.
This tattoo was meant to reflect on my life this far. I've experienced a lot of death and anger growing up. I've experienced a broken heart that I thought would never heal. I never thought I would move on. I never imagined that a year later, I would be able to pick myself up again and think about me for once. I've grown so much in the span of a year, it's crazy to think about.
After getting this tattoo, I would go through small experiences that I would think "So, this is my life." and I would laugh because I would remember my arm. It's something I have been trying to live by. It's something I'm going to live by. So many people let the bad things get you down. They don't want to pick themselves up again and remember that there is good in their lives. They forget about those small moments of happiness that enter their lives, even for the shortest of moments. They forget to smile at the little things.
With what's going on in my life right now, trying to re-enter college, worrying about getting accepted and financial aid, I need to remember that things will work out in the end. Even if a door closes, another will open. I'm still trying to figure out how my life can be so amazing and special and sad at the same time. I'm trying to let the happiness outweigh the sadness.
With what's going on in my life right now, trying to re-enter college, worrying about getting accepted and financial aid, I need to remember that things will work out in the end. Even if a door closes, another will open. I'm still trying to figure out how my life can be so amazing and special and sad at the same time. I'm trying to let the happiness outweigh the sadness.
It's funny. Since getting this done, people at work ask about it. They'll read it and give me some weird look, not knowing what it means or where it's from. I think they assume I just thought of a sentence to get tattooed. It's such a generic sentence, but holds so much meaning to me and to those that have read The Perks of Being A Wallflower.
I love it.
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