Hello, 2014.

Hey 2014, you're off to a pretty amazing start. I expected to celebrate the new year with a kiss at midnight, but it brought an even bigger surprise than I imagined.

We're in New York City running around the streets trying to find the perfect view to see the ball drop. Chaos ensues because we're not the only ones. With a minute to spare we finally decide on a spot, still far from sight but in sight nonetheless. We're surrounded by everyone else waiting for that ball to drop. When it finally does, I get that kiss I'd been dying for for so long. We hug and welcome the new year with all of the excitement we've been bottling up. We're greeted by fireworks across from us in Clinton Square and we take a moment to hold each other and soak in that moment. Finally, Kryss asks me to step to the side with him for a moment to get out of the chaos that surrounds us. 

He gets down on one knee and asks me to marry him. In a calm and excited manner, I say yes. 

So, we exchange rings and hug some more and take in that moment. It's not just a boyfriend relationship anymore. We are closer to uniting as a couple and taking the next step in the relationship. And it's exciting and scary at the same moment. This is something so brand new to me and I'm not sure how to respond to it. 

We finally got home last night and broke the news to my parents. As excited as I was to tell them thinking they'd respond with positive feedback, all we got was a simple "okay." by them. And it hurts me. Last night I let it get me down, but I guess I have to see it from their point.

This isn't something they're used to. My family has never been open about feelings and it's not something they ever plan on doing. I figured with me coming back home it would bring us closer and open us up more than ever. When my sisters got engaged, my parents congratulated them and were so happy for them, but for me it was brushed aside. I'm not sure if they think it's a bad decision on our part but I highly doubt it has anything to do with sexual orientation. My parents have said before they would still love their child no matter who they fell in love with. They seem to have really taken a liking to Kryss so I don't think it's any bad feelings towards him. I guess it may take awhile to actually get used to and it's something I'll have to wait out. 

I need to take this time to be happy and take this moment in, because it's a wonderful thing that's just happened. We don't plan on getting married in the next few months or anything, we're just taking the next step and figuring out our next move. We love each other more than anything and we are dedicated to spending the rest of our lives together and that's all that matters right now. 

I had a lot planned for 2014 but this wasn't one of them. It was a wonderfully exciting surprise that was planned for me. I am so happy to take his hand and come together.

Day 1 of 365.

In other news, I am also starting a new project that I've been planning for a few weeks now. Project 365 is my newest venture into photography. I plan to take one photo a day for the whole year. It's got me feeling really anxious and excited. I am not sure if I can actually complete this but I'm going to see how far it takes me. I refuse to let it stress me out or get me down, I'm going to just have fun with it and see how far along I can go and how much I can improve in the year. 

You can follow the journey on Flickr right here. 

So, I'm welcoming 2014 with open arms and excited to see what this year has to bring me and how much I can grow in the next 365 days. 

Time really does fly by.

I've been in Texas for almost a year now. I still don't believe it. I honestly feel like my plane landed yesterday. I'll still never forget that day, either. I was sad and happy and nervous all at the same time. It still didn't hit me that I was leaving New York. It all happened so fast. My parents told me I would regret it. Do I? Not even a little. If I could go back and do it over again, I would.
I think moving to Texas was the best decision I've made in my life so far. I came here heartbroken and damaged in so many ways. I had no idea what I was going to do with myself and my sister and her husband came in and helped. I can't thank them enough. My relationship with my sister has become so much stronger and that's just one of the reasons I'm glad everything happened the way it did. She's my best friend.
I finally am learning to love myself. I've learned so many things about myself since being here that I never knew before. I can proudly say I'm a truly good person and anyone that walks into my life is lucky (though, I could say I'm a lucky person, too). I'm smart and funny and when you are in need, I'll always be there. If you're a friend, I like to make you happy and give you as much as I can.
I'm also learning that, although it sucks, even those you want to stay in your life forever, won't. Sometimes things happen and the situation drastically changes and you're not a part of each others lives anymore. It happens. That's life. It was upsetting at first, but I've accepted this. Enjoy the time you were able to spend with that person and cherish those memories, but move on. You're going to meet so many more people in your life, some will fade out, but you'll find some amazing people that will stay through thick and thin.
Now, it's a new year. I'm ready for a change. I'm ready to accomplish big things in 2013. I'm ready to worry about myself and become the best possible me that I can. I'm nervous and excited but I know I can do it. I've got some big plans that I'm starting to push for, but I won't get into that now, just in case it doesn't happen.
I can honestly say that I love myself and I'm the happiest I've been in such a long time. It's a good feeling.